Sexy Eyebrows & Pumpkin Patch Portraits
What in the heck is up with Halloween these days? The boys and I went on a walk around the neighborhood the other day and came up to a house with a bloody corpse hanging from a noose on their tree. Like….really? Really really? “Mommy, what’s that?” “That, buddy, is poor judgment.” And costumes these days?? That’s a joke, right? In my extensive Google search for “Halloween costumes for chubby babies” (true story), I came across the following real-life, available-for-purchase costumes: Sexy Olaf Sexy Marshmallow Man Sexy Garbage Truck Driver Are we that desperate to show off our ta-tas, American women? PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, PEOPLE. You’re ruining costumes for everyone. This has…
Dung Beetles & Canine Lasers
Last Saturday was a family day full of projects and errands. Midway through our excursions, we stopped in at King Wok for some lunch. (Not to be confused with King Wok II, also by our house. Just regular King Wok.) The mister and I are big fans of good Chinese food which, unfortunately, King Wok is not. It’s quite terrible, in fact. Very…gelatinous. We finished eating and started packing up to head to our next stop. I picked up the babe to change his diaper and my hands touched a wet bum. Never a good sign. I checked his back out and – sure enough – poosplosion. Honestly…my kids never…
Subway Truths & Other “I seriously just said that” Toddler Moments
I picked the worst table at Subway yesterday. We ended up at the one sitting pretty much in the middle of the restaurant. The people waiting to order are standing so close the table you’re nervous about elbowing them as you dive into your footlong meatball sub. So when Beckett piped up in that little high-pitched voice that carries as well as his momma’s, everyone within 10 feet could hear. He looked at something, pointed, and yelled, “MOMMY – WHY THAT MAN COLORED LIKE DAT?” (And for the record he didn’t say “dat”. He named an animal of the same coloring that I refuse to type out. It still makes…
The Legend of the Roller Coaster
I love fall. So, so much. I love the weather and the soups and the festivities. I love that we, the American people, have a unhealthy obsession with pumpkin-flavoring. Pies, lattes, M&Ms, cookies, soups…name the food, it’s been pumpkined. And I buy it all. This month in particular takes me back to a time I’ll never forget: the legendary costume fail of October 2010. I could get into the whole back story behind this particular October, but all you really need to know is that we had started a new class at church that combined single and newly married folk – re-branded as a “Young Adults” class. The way we…
ER Trip #245: "Ask Me" Edition
Once upon a time, Tuesday night, we were volunteering at our church’s Vacation Bible School, rebranded as “Summer Spectacular”, when I got that dreaded text from the children’s ministry saying that we needed to come get Beckett from class. I immediately started to panic because a) Beckett loves Bible class where he learns about “Jethuth” and b) he never ever ever ever cries there. Like, ever. As in, they’ve never paged me in the entirety of his childcare experience. As in, sometimes when class is over and we pick him up to go home he screams like he’s being kidnapped. So I knew something bad had happened. He ran away?…
Throwbacks & Overshare
My dinner tonight consisted of chicken and cilantro wontons, sweet potato fries, and jalapeno hummus. This is what happens when Costco gives out samples. I buy an econo-size bag of frozen wontons. I don’t even know how to eat wontons or what to put them in or with, but good gracious that old lady was convincing. Throwback Thursday (Part 3) Guys. I really thought I was being creative with the name “Throwback Thursday”. As it turns out, it’s already being used by those pesky instagrammers (of which I’m one – find me @sarahbrooks13) to showcase vintage pictures. Booooooringggggg. I prefer showcases awkward encounters instead. Part 3 stories include: the hired…
That Awkward Moment When’s & Throwbacks
That Awkward Moment When… I think the “that awkward moment when” craze is about over, so I’d like to wish it out with some recent endings to the sentence. That awkward moment when you accidentally cut someone off in traffic, then turn into the same parking lot. An important decision follows: drive another lap to avoid confrontation, follow them to their parking spot to apologize, or walk with your head high pretending nothing happened. One time in high school when I was trying to be super awesome but really was just being a punk, I flipped a guy off while I was driving. Turns out he was headed to the…
Grace: My Middle Name & Social Cues
Maybe it’s because I didn’t go to sleep until 2:30am*. Or maybe it’s because the 3rd annual Ugly Sweater Christmas Party is tonight and I’m so excited I’m not thinking clearly. Either way, I’ve made a mockery of all things graceful today. Grace: My Middle Name. Let’s first discuss my trip to Walmart and the blueberry walnut bread I sampled in the bakery. That is worth a trip out of the house, right there. Fast forward to the register: my cashier was pretty grumpy which immediately makes my brain scream, “Oooo girl. You are going to LOVE me by the end of this transaction. Let’s turn that frown upside down.”…
Goats, Yellowstone, & Cowbabies
The past few weeks have been action-packed with countless calls and emails to insurance adjusters, a shower for Beckett, and a trip to Yellowstone National Park. As mentioned before, the Sparks family has a knack for getting in ridiculous situations. I think it’s really a mixture of our friendliness to strangers and our ability to find humor in almost all situations. People think I make up the stories I tell, but I guarantee funny stuff happens to you too – you just have to think about it. If you live with a humorous outlook on life and don’t take yourself too seriously, you too can have experiences like the Sparks…
HPT, Pudge, & Wiggles
I have been waiting entirely too long to write this post, and I haven’t blogged in a while because I couldn’t think of anything to talk about that didn’t involve baby Brooks. I also have discovered through this process that I am a very bad secret-keeper. It’s not that I mean to tell people, I just can’t ever remember who I’m not telling what. Alas – it is time to finally shout our excitement for our baby that will be coming sometime in the vicinity of August 25, 2011. This baby was a complete surprise to Taylor and I both. Since I’ve been married, I cried wolf many-a-time about possibly…
