My Favorite Kidnappers.
I have the post-holiday pudge. That gross feeling from too much peanut brittle and chocolate pie. My exercise routine has been less than stellar in recent months. Tonight, after scarfing down some tacos and 2 (ok 3. fine. 4.) cookies at our 8th grade small group, I went for a run. First off, running in the cold. Ew. You go from comfortable in your multi-layered workout gear to that horrible sweaty freeze in about 2.3 seconds. You know, when you’re kinda cold but also perspiring in weird places and, anyway, that. About a mile and a half in, I was sweaty-frozen and struggling. I saw a car up ahead that had been stopped at…
Subway Truths & Other “I seriously just said that” Toddler Moments
I picked the worst table at Subway yesterday. We ended up at the one sitting pretty much in the middle of the restaurant. The people waiting to order are standing so close the table you’re nervous about elbowing them as you dive into your footlong meatball sub. So when Beckett piped up in that little high-pitched voice that carries as well as his momma’s, everyone within 10 feet could hear. He looked at something, pointed, and yelled, “MOMMY – WHY THAT MAN COLORED LIKE DAT?” (And for the record he didn’t say “dat”. He named an animal of the same coloring that I refuse to type out. It still makes…
Silver Alert & Toddler God
Tuesday night: Stand at a red light waiting for the crosswalk. Pick a wedgie with one hand, wave to a family from church with the other. That’s the story of my existence, in 2 sentences. (Yea, I shouldn’t have picked a wedgie at a busy intersection, but I had been running and my shorts needed adjusting. And I had the cover of darkness. And I probably just shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house, ever.) Silver Alert We lunched at Chick-fil-a today (see list below for the humor there) and Beckett, my creative genius, turned the table topper into a hat. It was funny or whatever I guess, but I…
K Lew’s Worms & B-I-N-G-O
I’ve been silently bemoaning the fact that nothing horribly awkward has happened the past few weeks. We don’t usually go very long between embarrassing moments, but it’s been almost a month with nothing to report. Of course we had the Costco incident – not the one where Beckett forever traumatized some impressionable elementary school girls with his diaper blowout (the kind where you wish you wouldn’t have put him in shorts, but maybe pants with an elastic band at the ankles to catch any shrapnel) – but another one: Lady (smiling and looking at Beckett): Look at those hamster feet!Taylor (loud enough for lady to hear): HAMSTER FEET?!Me (whispering quickly):…
Stockyard Stalkers & Throwbacks {cont.}
I know you all came here to see endless pictures of Beckett and to get minutely updates on what he’s doing. We’ll get to that in due time. I already talk too much about baby poo, so I’m not going to mention how I nearly asked another mom at Corner Bakery if I could buy a spare outfit off her so my kid wouldn’t have to sit through breakfast in the soggy poop clothes I unsuccessfully attempted to wash off in the bathroom. Since I’m not bringing up the mom fail from above, I will bring up Taylor’s latest sleep-talking. It went a little something like this: Taylor: What? What…
Cry Rooms, Baybeeees, & Mosaics
I’m done making disclaimers about how random these posts are. Just know ahead of time that you will always get a hodge podge on this blog. If you’re totally over the baby thing, skip to “Mosaics“. You do not want to miss a very motivational video. Carry on… Cry Rooms My least favorite part of church these days: the dreaded “cry room”. First off, you do a walk of shame to get there. The walk where you try to muffle (without suffocating) the cries of your beloved child while walking past 89 pews of onlookers. Once you actually get to the cry room, your eyes have to adjust to the…
Idiot…isms, Strangers, & Project Nursery
I’ve been stricken with the stupid bug. Throughout the course of being pregnant, I’ve gotten progressively more stupid. Just when you think it gets as bad as humanly possible, it takes a turn for the dumber. I can’t remember if this is on my list of symptoms no one warns you about (found here), but good grief…it’s ridiculous. For those of you clever folks thinking about commenting something like, “Just wait until after the baby is born…” or “Wait until the second time around” or something like that, don’t even think about it. Let me have my moment. Recently, I have: attempted to open my home’s front door with my…
Bonus Symptoms, Categories, & the Name!
Pregnancy 101: Symptoms There are so many things people don’t tell you about being pregnant. Sure, you hear about cravings and back aches, but I guarantee you haven’t heard of the million little ways carrying a baby blows up your body. Brenna the Schartz came to visit one day and we attempted to compile a list of random stuff that I want to document for future reference, if for no other reason than to laugh. If this were a “women’s only” channel, it would be much more exciting, but you can just ask me for the juicy details in person. General lack of oxygen Overall discomfort while sitting, standing, or…
Punch Bowl, Adult Movies, & Blessings
I started to write a Thanksgiving post, and, well that didn’t get published. It’s hard to top the Halloween costume story and I’ve been quite nervous to post again. I just don’t really know how these things happen to me, but I shall now entertain you with two more “This would only happen to Sarah – and apparently now Taylor, too” stories. Punch Bowl A few weeks ago, I was at an import store (you know – the kind that you really don’t like to shop at but has really good prices and is coincidentally where all the “cute” places actually get their merchandise) in Dallas trying to pick up…
