Sexy Eyebrows & Pumpkin Patch Portraits

What in the heck is up with Halloween these days?

The boys and I went on a walk around the neighborhood the other day and came up to a house with a bloody corpse hanging from a noose on their tree. Like….really? Really really?

“Mommy, what’s that?”

“That, buddy, is poor judgment.”

And costumes these days?? That’s a joke, right?

In my extensive Google search for “Halloween costumes for chubby babies” (true story), I came across the following real-life, available-for-purchase costumes:

• Sexy Olaf
• Sexy Marshmallow Man
• Sexy Garbage Truck Driver

Are we that desperate to show off our ta-tas, American women? PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, PEOPLE. You’re ruining costumes for everyone.

This has been a public service announcement.

Sexy Eyebrows

Although…speaking of sexy costumes: sumo wrestlers.

A few days ago, in the midst of costume season, I had the inexplicable urge to dress Hutton as a sumo wrestler. Not even for a party or for trick-or-treating. Purely for my own entertainment.

(Starting a GoFundMe account as we speak for my children’s future therapy bills, if you want to donate.)

One winter hat, a few strips of black fabric, and two strokes of eyeliner later:

Yep. Yes.

The costume did not disappoint. (Especially the view from the back – baby bums are so delish.)

Once Beckett saw Hutton with eyebrows, he wanted some too. Naturally.

We had a good laugh.

Especially when, 30 minutes later, we were trying to walk out the door to eat dinner at a neighbor’s house for the first time and

THE EYEBROWS WOULD NOT COME OFF.

Not with soap, not with baby wipes….wouldn’t come off. And we had to go.

So we went, eyebrows and all.

“Thank you for having us over! Disregard the permanently shocked look on their faces. Do you happen to have any eye make-up remover to go along with those burgers?”

Just a day in the life, you guys. A day in the life.

Pumpkin Patch Portraits

And, also, these pictures from our 4th annual pumpkin patching with the Morris family.

These might be our best photographs to date.

And this is certainly the best ever Brooks family portrait.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a print to enlarge and hang above my mantel.