That @#&% Rating System
In a moment of parenting GENIUS, we have created a rating system for curse words. It all started when the boys and I were at the park and overheard two junior highish boys call each other as many names that included the word “ass” as they could think of. To be honest, the whole thing was clunky and painful because middle school, but my boys asked the obvious next question: “Mom, what is a ‘Loser Dass’?” Well sons, a) it is a version of newbie cursing that lacks vision and creativity, b) there’s no D but, I guess more importantly, c) we don’t say that word. I tried to get…
We Might Have to Switch Schools…..but it was worth it
I’m not sure what’s happening in my house, but my kids are reverting back to the Toddler Picasso stage of life. We don’t even have toddlers anymore, yet here I am finding artwork in weird places the past few weeks. The oldest drew all over the backseat of the car – the leather, the window, the cupholder. The middle drew a whole mural on his wall after I told him his art teacher had bragged on how talented he was. (HECK YEAH I AM, he whispers to himself, marker in hand) The youngest drew a nice family portrait on his brother’s bedsheets. I don’t even know. Circling back to the middle, we had a…
Oooklahoma, Where the Wi…ldlife Comes Shopping at Walmart
Up until this point in parenting, we’ve avoided most Fun Places. We’re firm believers that even the most magical place on earth isn’t magical with a toddler. But now? Now our kids are slightly older and definitely more fun. Now with 7, 5, and 3 year olds who don’t immediately run into oncoming traffic and are mostly fine without a nap…now we adventure. Like this weekend. I knew Taylor would be working a lot, so I decided at about 10am on Friday to take a miniature road trip with the fellas. A quick Google search led me to an exotic animal park a few hours away and an Airbnb on a farm a…
“You Should Really Know What You’re Doing Next Time”: A How-Not-To Guide to Adventuring
I’m not a planner. It’s both a blessing and a curse. Blessing, because I’m always flexible. I just get an idea and do it. Right then. Curse, because Taylor isn’t a planner either, so we infuriate everyone trying to plan around us. It wasn’t until this week I realized that “everyone” also includes our firstborn. It’s Spring Break here in Texas and – shocker – we didn’t plan anything ahead of time, so 4 days ago I decided we’d go on adventures around the city each day. Sunday we adventured into Petco where we accidentally bought a hamster. Beckett thought we’d have a better shot of Taylor being okay with our impulse purchase if we…
His name is Frank(s).
We have this dream for our children – one that was birthed out of a trip to the state fair last year. After winning a carnival game of what can only be described as Kid Beer Pong, we walked away with our first pet goldfish. Not just one, actually. When the nice, bearded game lady took one look at our crew and their excitement over winning a single fish, she leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, “Tell ya what. Imma give you boys 4 fish, seein’ as there’s 3 of ya. Whaddya think, parents? Sound good?” After a moment’s hesitation, we agreed and left with 4 new pets (for our 3 boys). Their names, in order, were Happy, Buddy, Goldy, and Frank.…
The Little Craft that Could
“What are the positives of social media?” is a question I’m asked fairly regularly by parents and teachers alike. To be honest, I don’t have an overwhelming amount of answers. But. A miracle happened to our family yesterday that simply would not have happened in a pre-internet age. Gather ’round, everyone. This is the tale of The Little Craft that Could. At lunch with a friend yesterday, I got a text from another first grade mom friend. “Is this Beckett??” she asked. As I zoomed in to the picture she’d attached, I saw a screenshot of a random Facebook post. “DO YOU KNOW BECKETT’S FAMILY???” the post started. “I’ve been searching for this boy’s family since Friday.…
If By “Toilet” You Mean…
Before we begin, if you are underwhelmed by potty humor, you might want to move along. If, however, you are the parent of a small child – especially of the male gender – welcome. This is a safe place. Solidarity, my friend. So… I’ve been under the assumption my three year old is potty trained. I have believed for the past few months that he was taking himself to the bathroom when he needed to go potty. Now that I know the truth, I long for the days of naiveté. Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? I caught him a few days ago with his underwear around his ankles and a…
To All the Young Moms Whom the Internet Has Failed
It starts so innocently. What begins as a single search for a specific purpose – a recipe using overripe bananas, a solution for toy organization, a printable for fall decor – ends in a 3 hour internet binge. Instead of a recipe, solution, or printable, I find myself with 14 new home improvement projects, 3 new at-home workouts, and 12 easy steps to raising genius children overnight. It’s a hard thing, navigating life in the digital age. It’s not just hard for teenagers, it’s hard for women and men and moms and teachers and spouses and humans. All the expectations. All the opinions, all the comparison, all the “could be”s and “should be”s and “why aren’t you”s that make it…
The Only Bunt We Want is Cake
It’s July in Texas. The temperature is over 100 degrees by 10am. And we signed our children up for Saturday summer t-ball, because we hate ourselves.
I am their Best Mom
Mother’s Day is around the corner, so I’m feeling introspective. As my precious cherubs take their afternoon nap, I find myself reflecting on our morning together. It’s wonderful that they are tucked safely in their beds getting rest; I almost killed them a few hours ago. They argue-screamed the entire way to the doctor this morning while I was snorting Stress Away oils and consuming coffee intravenously. “He’s looking out my window!” “No – HE’S looking out MY window!” “That’s MY window because THAT’S HOW JESUS MADE IT and he DOESN’T WANT YOU LOOKING OUT ITTTTTTTT!!!!!!” And on and on and on.
