The Little Craft that Could
“What are the positives of social media?” is a question I’m asked fairly regularly by parents and teachers alike. To be honest, I don’t have an overwhelming amount of answers. But. A miracle happened to our family yesterday that simply would not have happened in a pre-internet age. Gather ’round, everyone. This is the tale of The Little Craft that Could. At lunch with a friend yesterday, I got a text from another first grade mom friend. “Is this Beckett??” she asked. As I zoomed in to the picture she’d attached, I saw a screenshot of a random Facebook post. “DO YOU KNOW BECKETT’S FAMILY???” the post started. “I’ve been searching for this boy’s family since Friday.…
Excavate at Your Own Risk
Knowing my 6 year old’s Prehistoric Marine Reptile Dinosaur birthday was around the corner (his theme choice…as if that needs to be clarified), I needed some small party favors to take to his kindergarten class that were non-edible. (Non-edible, because when the youths today eat sugar, food dye, gluten, or non-grass-fed meat they spontaneously combust. It’s easier not to feed them at all.) I ordered a few things from Amazon – some dinosaur stamps and stickers – but I needed just *one* more little something small to stick in the bag. This was, after all, his first ever birthday to be celebrated at school. It was A Huge Deal.
Dear Tooth Fairy, I Want a Refund
If I’m blogging chronologically, I should start with the Top 10 Reasons You Should Never Let Your Kids Have Snow Cones Right Before A One Hour Night Of Worship At Church, because that was a thing last night. Suffice it to say, little boys hyped up on sugar and Red Dye #40 worship very differently than their fellow churchgoers. Worship the Lord with karate kicks, come before him with audible toots. Anyway. In other news, Beckett got his first ever loose tooth.
You May Also Like
Living with Our Glimpses
Take a Bite of THAT, Big Apple
Grace, even for the Embers
Attention Deficit Mom Disorder
Yesterday I did that thing where I put a kid in time out, forgot I put him in time out, and stumbled across him much, much later. He was all, “Mommy, can I come out now?” I replied with, “Have you had enough time to think about what you did?” (Also, could you be a dear and remind me what it was? Because it’s been long enough I forgot.)
Attempted Murder of a Matchmaker
Sunday night I went upstairs to pull a “Love You Forever” after the boys were in bed. Instead of climbing a ladder and breaking into their window like a freak (how did that seem so normal reading it as a kid?), I opted for the stairs. As I reached the top landing, a blast of heat hit me in the face. No, not a raging inferno. Worse. A broken AC unit in the middle of summer. You know, summer in Texas, the 3 (to 6) months of the year the state tries to burn its residents alive. #thanksobama I grabbed the boys and brought them downstairs, along with a crib mattress and a pack-n-play.…
The Stall: a Collection of Horror Stories from Public Bathrooms
If you wonder what being a parent is like, gather up as many hyper, destructive humans as you can and bring them in one tiny bathroom stall as you pee. Have them ask questions as loudly as possible such as “ARE YOU GOING POOP?” “WHAT’S THAT SMELL?” “DID SHE JUST TOOT?” while you quietly whisper “don’t touch that” “that’s yucky” “please don’t put your face on the ground”. Maybe also have one confetti gun and an airhorn for added chaos. Repeat that scene every time you go into public and you’ll have a good idea what your future holds. It is complete and utter insanity. And also a little bit hilarious if…
Stroller Splat
During a recent catching-up-on-life conversation, a friend of mine said, “I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but from what I see on Facebook things are going well. You look like you’ve always got it together!” Hold up. Wait a minute. If that is the impression I have given at any moment in time, I am failing miserably as a human. (I also feel sure she never read about my, you know, severing my dog’s tail, leaving my laptop on the hood of my car, or befriending a cloud of gnats with the human poop on my calf…all exciting life events that took place within the past 12 months.) But,…
Turning Over a New {Palm} Leaf
At lunch with my dear friend Amanda today, I had to choose between wiping poop off my forearm or vomit out of my hair first after a dual eruption from the wee one. Just livin’ the life, you guys. Livin’ the life. Really though, I’ve already hit rock bottom this week, so I’m hardly even phased by such a decision. Airborne Acer Probably the hardest part about having multiple kids so far is getting them ready and in the car, along with all 5,564 of their “essentials”. Step 1 is getting Hutton strapped into the infant carrier. He screams from the time the buckles snap to about 5 minutes into…
Moving Day’s Eve
Moving day 1999: My family was moving from Nebraska to Tennessee and, on the day we were to depart, my oldest and favorite chinchilla decided to bite the dust. (More like he was nibbling the dust and the moving truck driver had to take him out back and finalize the process.) 1. Yes, I had chinchillas. 3 regular, 1 inbred. 2. It was a bad moving day. Moving day 2013: I’m 6ish weeks from birthing a child, our other child is handling the chaos by sprinting through the house adding his bath trumpet to the dishes box and unpacking the bathroom towels, Taylor is working, and my mom is…
Broccoli Butt & Advent
Broccoli Butt Every time I pick Beckett up from the nursery at church, I overhear the ladies saying to other moms, “She ate some of the sauteed carrots and most of the kale.” or “He ate all of the zucchini and quinoa!” as I grab my son and his diaper bag that never contain the words “kale” or “zucchini”. His snacks are usually made by a friend of mine, General Mills. I was feeling some peer pressure, so last week I sent that dude with some steamed broccoli and cantaloupe. Talk about mom of the year, y’all. That is nutritious as it gets. The only problem is steamed broccoli smells…
