Attention Deficit Mom Disorder

Yesterday I did that thing where I put a kid in time out, forgot I put him in time out, and stumbled across him much, much later.

He was all, “Mommy, can I come out now?”

I replied with, “Have you had enough time to think about what you did?” (Also, could you be a dear and remind me what it was? Because it’s been long enough I forgot.)

My rememberer is bad these days. Actually, I don’t know if it’s my rememberer that’s bad or just my attention span.

I feel like I have Mom ADD.

With Davis walking, I have no idea where at least one of my children is at any given moment.

At a friend’s house the other day, we were joking about how much more laid back we are as 3rd time parents than 1st time parents.

“I mean, like, where even is Davis right now? I haven’t seen him in a while, yet I’m not concerned enough to search. If this were my 1st 1 year old…..” Ahhhahhahah we’re so funny. Look at us 3rd time moms. So seasoned and wise.

Except 5 minutes later when I still hadn’t seen Davis, I finally got up and started looking for him.

And I found him. Behind a closed bathroom door.

He had shut himself in their master bathroom, thrown the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet bowl, and stirred the soupy mess with a plunger he found behind the tank.

And, honestly, there’s no telling how long he’d been doing that and how much toilet water he consumed in the process.

So, yeah. 3rd time moms are so laid back. And by so laid back I mean in desperate need of some middle ground. Preferably somewhere between using a shopping cart cover for a 4 year old and letting your infant child fondle other people’s plungers.

Yesterday was also a trip to Target. 4 steps into the store, Beckett informed me he had a booger. I told him to hold on a second until we came across the wipe aisle. (Because 3rd time moms are super laid back, remember? We don’t even carry wipes anymore. That’s so 1st time mom.)

Target – my Mecca – has so much cute stuff right now that I was on sensory overload. Fall stuff being clearanced, Christmas stuff debuting. YES PLEASE.

It wasn’t until 45 minutes later with a cart full of clearanced leaf decor that my sweet 5 year old opened the hand he’d been clenching throughout the entire store, showed me a smooshed up booger, and said, “Can we throw this away yet?”

I mean…on one hand, let’s celebrate the fact that we’re keeping track of boogers these days. This is a struggle we’ve been working through.

On the other hand, my bad, son.

Attention Deficit Mom Disorder. It’s a real thing.

But. In a new effort to celebrate our wins as much as we project our fails, let me just leave this nugget right here:

Luckily my ADMD doesn’t affect my ability to produce epic last minute Halloween costumes.

Like Blue Man Group & their PR team.

Or a peanut, Superman, and a Strong Man going to visit our elderly lady and gent friends at the nursing home. (And showing off during physical therapy time.)

My kids may not have a single wipe or kleenex to their name, but they will always be confident in their costumage.

We truly focus on what’s important in this home.