The Screams Heard ‘Round the Parking Garage
Aside from my amazingly uneventful trip to NYC in June with my bestie, weird things happen to us when we travel. Actually, who am I kidding? Weird things happen to us all the time, it is just infinitely funnier in another city. Like the Airport Bathroom Incident on my way to Utah a few weeks ago when – instead of waiting for me, my carry-on, and my purse to exit first – a lady brought her carry-on, her purse, and her entire self into the bathroom stall WITH me. We stood eye to eye for several beats, our bodies flush against each other, as she huffed impatiently at my complete incompetence. “Uh…excuse me? I guess?” I mumbled as I squeezed past her…
Take a Bite of THAT, Big Apple
“I am not – I repeat – I am NOT taking selfies all weekend.” Taylor Brooks, New York City, 2017 After the worst vacation ever last year, we’ve been hesitant to try again. (Our doctors’ bills seem to go up exponentially when we travel.) But MIRACLE OF ALL MIRACLES, we actually had a successful solo vacation to New York City last weekend. (I know. It’s surprising to me, too, and I was there.) We’re one week post-vacation, no signs of E. coli or Giardia in sight. We. made. it. We didn’t just *make it*, we killed it.
Look Past the Clearance Jesus
If you were to Google stock photos of Good Christian Teenagers, my high school yearbook picture would show up. I was the World’s Best.
5 Ways Toddlers are Terrifying
“I totally forgot what toddlers are like.” – me to my husband each time we have another toddler (…which is stupid because our kids aren’t even far enough apart for me to forget the craziness of toddlerhood, yet here we are.) The good news is, our current toddler is a minutely reminder of ups and downs of this stage. Here are a few of the things I forgot about toddlers.
The Invisible Mom
I can count on one hand the amount of times in my 5 1/2 years of parenting that I’ve asked my husband to come home from work early to SAVE OUR SHIP, and that is one. One time. Today, actually.
When Magnificence Redeems Minutia
At an ENT appointment last week, the audiologist looked at my oldest son and said – with her actual words, to his actual face – “You are the reason I didn’t have more kids. I did NOT want another boy. This – *motions to him and his 2 brothers* – is my worst nightmare.” To which I wanted to reply, “Then you should definitely either watch Saw or read some news headlines. I guarantee there are far scarier things out there than 3 wonderful, kind, adventurous boys.” This is a thing for us. It happens a lot. Nearly every time we go in public, actually.
Dear Tooth Fairy, I Want a Refund
If I’m blogging chronologically, I should start with the Top 10 Reasons You Should Never Let Your Kids Have Snow Cones Right Before A One Hour Night Of Worship At Church, because that was a thing last night. Suffice it to say, little boys hyped up on sugar and Red Dye #40 worship very differently than their fellow churchgoers. Worship the Lord with karate kicks, come before him with audible toots. Anyway. In other news, Beckett got his first ever loose tooth.
Finding (or, rather, “Protecting”) Joy in the Little Years
This week, I get to spend time with moms of preschoolers speaking on the topic “Finding Joy in the Little Years”. As I was preparing for the lesson, I remembered the time a while back when I had to break up with a Facebook group. It was a group full of moms swapping parenting stories, pictures, and experiences. When the group first started, it started out awesome – great stories of epic mom fails. Of kids being hilariously kid-like. Over time, however, it morphed into a place to air grievances. A place to wallow on the unfairness of it all.
About Those Influencers…
I didn’t date a lot in high school. I had a bazillion guy friends, little to no boyfriends. Maybe it was because I was a commitment-phobe. Maybe it was because I was wiser than my 15 years and knew I should spend my time making friends and having fun instead. Maybe it was because no one swept me off my feet. ….or maybe it was because I spent 90% of my time looking something like this:
ABC Bible Verses
Several years ago when my firstborn was 18 months old, I sat across from a mentor and asked her how to teach him about Jesus. “Do we sit down every Tuesday for family devotions? Play sermon tapes at nap time? Lay my hands on him and pray over his diaper changes? Anoint his head with oils? Leave it up to the professional at Bible class?” It seemed so daunting to me. I didn’t know how. I didn’t have the answers. I’m not great with small children.
