Stroller Splat
During a recent catching-up-on-life conversation, a friend of mine said, “I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but from what I see on Facebook things are going well. You look like you’ve always got it together!” Hold up. Wait a minute. If that is the impression I have given at any moment in time, I am failing miserably as a human. (I also feel sure she never read about my, you know, severing my dog’s tail, leaving my laptop on the hood of my car, or befriending a cloud of gnats with the human poop on my calf…all exciting life events that took place within the past 12 months.) But,…
Now Charging Admission
Yesterday, I contributed greatly to society by being a “model” at a clinic for pregnant women in crisis. They were having a nurse training afternoon with a sonographer, and I volunteered my services as the perfect pregnant specimen a pregnant lady not in crisis. The nurses trained on using the sonogram machine, identifying strange baby parts, measuring fetal things, etc. And I just want to help in any way I can, you know? Just kidding. I mostly wanted to see my baby and find out the gender and if that helps others in the process, PERFECT. So while checking out the baby goods wasn’t at the forefront of their minds, it was definitely on mine.…
Will we be buying bandaids or glitter? SOON.
I think we find out tomorrow whether we’re having a boy or a girl. Can I be honest for a second? Both options excite and terrify me a little. When we found out we were expecting a third, I expected to get lots of “I really hope it’s a girl!” or “For your sake…it better be a girl.” or “What will you do if it’s another boy?!” I wasn’t disappointed. The answer is: I have no idea what we’ll do. In either case. If it is indeed another boy…first things first, we’ll build an outhouse. Because boys have terrible aim and I’m totally over our bathrooms looking and smelling like…
Witching Hour Chronicles
According to Wikipedia, the most famous non source on the internet, With a modern literal meaning of “midnight,” the term witching hour refers to the time of day and night (12:00 a.m. or 12:00 p.m. is commonly speculated) when creatures such as witches, demons, and ghosts are thought to appear and to be at their most powerful and black magic to be most effective. I don’t know about all that supernatural business, but I do know about the witching hour in our own house. It happens every weekday, without fail. It’s the hour between 5pm and 6pm, Monday-Friday. It’s the hour when you’re kind of done being a parent, your kids are kind of…
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