The Gaggiest, Greatest Love Story
August 2005: a barely-18-year-old me packed up and moved to a small west Texas town for college. I’d never been to Texas before, but I was 100% sure (based on movies and other characterizations) that every Texan boy wore boots and cowboy hats. And possibly rode a horse to class. Definitely had experience with ranching and breeding longhorns. I was excited about the prospects. Imagine my surprise when I met an irresistible, clean cut, New Balance-wearing accounting major the first day I stepped foot on campus. No Stetson, no pearl snaps, just a baseball hat and an ample t-shirt collection. I immediately knew there was something different about him. (And not just…
Fruit of the Spirit, Preschool Style
At a kid’s play place recently, Beckett saw the Grinch from Dr. Seuss painted on a wall. The entire rest of the day: “What’s that man’s name again? Why is he green? Why are his eyes yellow? Why is he so grumpy?” You know how you don’t realize something is weird until you have to voice it out loud? Yeah. “He’s green because…well, I don’t know why…but he tries to steal Christmas (?!) because his heart is 2 sizes to small. (Wait, what? He should get that checked out.)” Anyway. It’s been a thing. So today on the way to school we were working on our verse for peace this month. I was explaining…
Current Obsessions
I’m in a fragile state of life where I’m afraid to try anything new for fear it will become an obsession. Pregnancy does this to you. My friend served coconut pie at a dinner 27 days ago and I’ve thought about it every day since. Another friend told me about this Thai place by my house (a genre of food I’d never tried nor desired to). Long story short, I’ve eaten Pad Thai from the same place for 8 different meals this week. I suffer from addictive pregnancy personality disorder. So, this April, here are my current obsessions. Hopefully some will stick around (like the car), others might be seasonal (looking at you,…
The Stall: a Collection of Horror Stories from Public Bathrooms
If you wonder what being a parent is like, gather up as many hyper, destructive humans as you can and bring them in one tiny bathroom stall as you pee. Have them ask questions as loudly as possible such as “ARE YOU GOING POOP?” “WHAT’S THAT SMELL?” “DID SHE JUST TOOT?” while you quietly whisper “don’t touch that” “that’s yucky” “please don’t put your face on the ground”. Maybe also have one confetti gun and an airhorn for added chaos. Repeat that scene every time you go into public and you’ll have a good idea what your future holds. It is complete and utter insanity. And also a little bit hilarious if…
