Party Your Tail Off

3 out of 4.5 members of Team Brooks either had or celebrated a birthday this weekend. That’s a lot of cake.

Friday was my favorite human’s birthday, and he was perfectly undercelebrated as requested. He can’t control me though (modern woman) so allow me to state, for the record, one more time: Taylor Brooks is the most loyal, loving, patient, compassionate person I know. I not only get to call him my husband but also my best friend. So happy birthday to that guy. If you don’t know him, you are sorely missing out.

If you’ve followed this blog for more than 1 second you at least know his offspring, aka my “Taylor tots”.

One of our 2 1/2 tots had THE BEST 4th BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER this weekend.

Like, ever.

Let me start by saying that said child has been an “Ocean Lizard” for about 4 months now.

Man at Chick-fil-A: What’s your son’s name??
Me: Beckett?
Man at Chick-fil-A: Oh. Ok. He kept telling me Ocean.
Me: Oh, yeah. Ocean Lizard. Just nevermind.

When the time for his birthday party started rolling around, it was obvious we only had one option for theme and, therefore, one option for party entertainment: LIVE REPTILE AND AMPHIBIAN SHOW.

(I “vetted” because I’d rather a legitimate business vs. a creepy man from Craiglist with a fetish for the single garden snake he found and brings to children’s parties. I feel like that could be a thing. And I’d like to avoid it.)

Instead, I found a precious retired zookeeper named Mr. Mike who now travels to parties and events with his beloved family animals. Uh, jackpot.

At some point over the past 4 years, this paints-her-fingernails-every-2-to-3-days-religiously girl morphed from a “mom of boys” to a BOY MOM, HEAR ME ROAR. From a “let’s read a sweet book about little blue trucks” to “HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS BRINGING A 5 FOOT PYTHON HOWAWESOMEISTHAT“.

I don’t know when or where this change was completed, but it was. And it’s the best.

Because when the Creepy Critters team showed up on the scene with 30 different bugs, lizards, turtles, and snakes, it. was. AWESOME.

(Well, it got awesome. First it was a little nerve-wracking as they unloaded crates with big giant “DO NOT OPEN” Sharpied on the top.

And then when Mr. Mike’s opening story was about unknowingly losing a frog at a birthday party and getting a call 3 DAYS LATER when the mom FOUND IT IN HER BATHROOM. Maybe not the best get-to-know-you-as-I-unload-reptiles-in-your-living-space story, but it all worked out in the end so I ain’t even mad.)

You guys.

Beckett was enthralled with the man and his pets. The whole time.

Other than all the partygoer’s dads in the room collectively backing up when the snakes came out, I think the adults were kind of enthralled, too.

Since Saturday, I’ve had to consciously, physically control my mouth or I would talk about how much fun the party was for years. Decades, maybe.

The reptile man was the hit of the century.

The only thing I would’ve done differently is wait to give the kids the fake tiny rubber snake and lizard favors until AFTER the live snake and lizard show was done because when Mr. Mike brings out his hissing cockroach and you see something about the same size fly across the room out of the corner of your eye…well, long story short, I almost gave birth a few times.

But I didn’t.

So we’re thankful “little little brother” didn’t make his debut that day, thankful to have witnessed the highlight of our son’s life so far, thankful to be surrounded by such amazing friends and family to celebrate with us, and thankful we have yet to find a frog in our bathroom.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a red eye tree frog to purchase because they are areyoukiddingme cute.

If you stumble across this post in hopes of finding reptile party ideas, check these things out:

• DIY lizard/monster/dino feet (No tutorial, just a pic. And I would definitely add a strap or something next time so they don’t flop around and break instantly.)
• Catch My Party food ideas
• Inflatable Snakes
• Bag o’ Lizards and Snakes for favors
• Your backyard tree. Seriously. Chop a few scraggily branches off and/or sew some leafy garland together for some cute and 100% free decor. You’re welcome.