Wildly Toddlerpropriate
“Teach them appropriate names for body parts,” they said. “They’ll be more empowered,” they said. You know what they didn’t say? That a two year old yelling about his penis in a crowded public area is incredibly awkward. Even more awkward is when you’re trying on clothes in a dressing room with running commentary in the background. 1st Favorite Son: “You look beautiful, my lady.” (?!?) 3rd Favorite Son: “MOMMY I SEE YOUR PENIS.” …yep. Have I mentioned that my two year old suffers from Megaphone Voice? (He comes by it honestly, but still.) Couple things. I do not have a penis. Nor did he see any body part remotely resembling one.…
On the Road to {Vacation} Recovery
I see your summer vacation photos. Your trips to Maui and Cabo San Lucas. Your moonlit walks on the beach and leisurely bike rides through sleepy, romantic towns. I see these and I raise you the scenery along my 98 degree run the other night: Yes, a steaming pile of poop that spells “hi”. It’s kind of the perfect picture of our summer so far. Not really. But really, we are still recovering from our vacation from hell. Last I left it, we were about to board our flight to come home. Home sweet home. Home, the place I was afraid we wouldn’t get to when Taylor lit up like a…
