You’re Right Up My Alley
Pre-parent-me found the phrase “date your kids” horrifying. The sentiment is sweet, the wording is creepy. Parent-me totally dates the crap out of my kids. Parent-me disappoints pre-parent-me in lots of areas, now that I think about it. Like the atrocity that is my vocal cords trying to make my infant smile. Or like the amount of times I say “silly” in a given day. What grown adult says “silly”? A parent, that’s who. What are we even talking about? Dating your children. Yes. So, Saturday, I had a surprise dinner-and-bowling date planned for Beckett. Instead of just telling him our plan, I wanted to “put an exclamation point on the memory” (a…
From My Mouth Hole to Your Ear Balls
Something I haven’t posted about recently is both my Google history and things we’ve said aloud to our children. So let’s remedy the latter because KIDS ARE CRAY. These are words that actually left our mouth holes recently: (Can you tell we have a house full of testosterone?) why is there a booger on the wall? whose booger is this? don’t put grapes between your toes. bug catchers are for bugs. please don’t put your penis in it. why is your underwear on the mantel? stop tooting in his face. we don’t toot in people’s faces. is that pancake in your ear? when is that from?? life lesson: don’t toot while you’re not wearing…
{uncomfortably} real life.
I had a redefining moment a few weeks ago on social media. This happens every so often and I’m thankful it does. I posted a picture on Facebook of our playroom in complete disarray with a caption about how I genuinely love seeing the toysplosion of little kids after big play. The post was met with several “same here” and heart emoji replies, in addition to one or two comments about the amount of toys pictured and the responsibility of my boys to clean them up. Fun fact: it doesn’t matter how many positive comments I receive, I will obsess over a single hint of criticism for weeks. <font-family: sarcasm> It’s one of the many perks of being a…
