Jehovah’s Rudeface & Abble Products

So those of you tuning in because of my last post on church, I can pretty much guarantee it’ll be another 7 months or so before another serious post like that. Most of the documentation on this blog revolves around bodily functions of toddlers and awkward situations by yours truly, so I will understand if we must part ways until then.

But, let me just say, I’ve been blown away by the conversations I’ve had since posting that blog on Friday. Thank you for all of your feedback, kind words, encouragement, etc. I don’t think the post itself was that great, but I think the thoughts within it really struck a chord, especially with my friends and peers. It’s pretty evident that although there’s a “mass exodus” of 20-somethings, there are also so many 20-somethings who have stayed and really believe in the church. So, you older church people, don’t give up on us. And “us” – invest. Plant roots. Take ownership. It’s your church, too, and it’s worth believing in.

That’s all.

Moving on to bodily functions of toddlers and awkward situations by yours truly.

Jehovah’s Rudeface Witness

On 3 separate occasions this week, I was confused for a minor. And, yea, I get it, “You should take that as a compliment!” Except no. When you already feel like a 16 year old pretending to be an adult (with a spouse and offspring), it’s not the greatest compliment in the world to be called out as a 16 year old. It makes me feel like you know that – deep down – I kind of am still a 16 year old.

I’d like you instead to say, “You look very age-appropriate. Based on the way you appear and present yourself, I can see that it is appropriate for you to have a husband and a son. What a responsible adult you are.”

No? Alright, whatever.

At least do me a favor: if you think I’m 16 and I correct your assumption, don’t {gasp} in shock. Pull it together and play it cool, people.

Take, for instance, the Jehovah’s Witnesses that came to the door on Saturday. They rang the doorbell several times and stood on the porch for so long, they guilted me into opening the door (which was probably their plan all along).

JW: Hi! (3 second pause) You don’t look like you’re old enough to be the lady of the house. Is someone else home?
Me: Uhh, nope. That’s me. The, uh…lady of the house. (Beckett starts yelling like a banshee from the other side of the house)
JW: OH! Wow. Ha. Well then. … Ohhhhh what is to be young, you know?

…

What is a “lady of the house”, anyway?

1897 called. They want their phrase back.

At the end of our very long and very persistent conversation, one of the ladies asked if she could come back by another time to chat. I panicked and said “Yes, of course!” so if anyone has a house I can crash at for like 3 weeks or at least until the Jehovah’s Witness season ends, just let me know.

Abble Products

Once upon a time last month, I got a new iPhone 5. The 5 has new connectors, so I decided to save some cash and find a cheap bundle of chargers on Amazon instead of buying them at Apple.

I found 3 chargers for $5.99 from a seller named happybear. happybear had plenty of reviews, mostly good, so I was skeptical of the price being so cheap but decided to give it a shot anyway.

Worst case: the charger works for 3 charges and dies, so I’m out $5. Best case: the charger works forever and I save $184, or whatever Apple is selling chargers for these days.

My 3 chargers came in the mail…from China…in a package with Chinese symbols all over it…about 37 days later. Should’ve been a red flag, but it wasn’t. And as it turns out, there was a worser case scenario.

Beckett and I were driving across town to meet a friend for dinner on Friday, so I used that time to test out my new car charger from happybear.

But…the charger caught on fire. Lots of smoke, lots of smelly burning. Enough that Beckett started coughing from the back seat.

I pulled it out of the socket and waited anxiously for the fire to reach my engine and blow up my car. I considered texting Taylor a goodbye message but if texting while driving is dangerous, texting while driving a car with the added pressure of an impending explosion is even worse.

Dramatic? Me? Never.

I guess the good news is we didn’t blow up. The bad news is the charger is fried (there goes my $5) and so is my phone (a little more than $5). The worse news of all is that after further inspection of happybear’s products, I realized the charger said “Designed by Abble in California”.

If I ever watched or read anything not involving Sesame Street or Cars, I might have seen the numerous warnings online about such happybears and their counterfeit merchandise.

stupid. stupid stupid stupid.

F’a Update

Just a quick fire truck update:

They’re still very much a passion of his…

…and his pronunciation is still a major struggle….

but there is nothing better than seeing this precious face tuck his fire truck into its own little bed at night and whisper,

with the sweetest, most innocent little voice of all time,