Rangers Game & Antfest

For Father’s Day, we scored some tickets to a Rangers game (we love you, Marla). It was Beckett’s first game and Taylor was beside himself with excitement – which, if you know Taylor, means that he smiled only slightly more than usual. He’s not quite as expressive as me. Or our son, we’re beginning to learn.

We lathered on sunscreen for the 99 degree afternoon game, found our section, scalded our butts on the plastic seats, sweated (swat?) through our clothes within 4 minutes, laughed when other unsuspecting attendees yelled “OH $#!&” as they scalded their butts on the plastic seats, and waited for the game to start.

The Rangers won and we got to stay the whole game. 2 wins for our column.

We did have some heat-induced grumps,

and a minor trip to the first aid station for the sunscreen oozy eye,

Antfest

In other news, we went camping on Saturday. Camping of the tents-and-s’mores variety. What better outdoor activity is there in Texas during the summer than to sweat under the stars?

We went with the Morris family and had a total of four adults and two babes (10 & 14 months).

As we pulled up to our designated campsite, Taylor and I stumbled upon a middle-aged woman who had dropped trou to pee in the woods. Our eyes locked. She never broke the gaze as she slowly pulled up her pants and backed into the trees. She also left an unopened pack of Marlboros on the picnic table. I guess she was too ashamed to come back and get them, so we smoked them threw them away.

Taylor and I don’t camp often, but we do have a tent. We hadn’t used it in an eternity, but I remember fond memories of it being a sweet, roomy little thing. My happy memories were shattered when Lizeth and Enrique put up their tent.  (I use the term “tent” loosely. They had some sort of impenetrable fort that could house no fewer than 100 adults comfortably.)

Their fortress appears to have an AC unit attached in that picture, but it’s actually their son’s pack ‘n play. We had one set up in ours too, but I’m ashamed to show how little room it left for us to sleep in.

And, yes, that is Beckett sitting alone in a field in his Bumbo with his sippy cup slightly out of reach. We’ve got to teach him survival skills at some point, people.

Saturday night was full of laughing, racial debates, roasting corn for 5 hours, hot dogs, s’mores…good times were had by all. (Including Beckett, who, instead of sleeping soundly like his friend Hank, stood in his pack ‘n play for 1.5 hours fake laughing until he fell asleep.)

Early Sunday morning rolled around and we were all woken by an army of carpenter ants crawling on every limb/crevice/appendage/surface of our bodies and surrounding areas. It was lovely.

Saturday night just got too late so we left the food out on the table. Such a rookie mistake with trillions of tiny little consequences.

So our first family camping outing was semi-successful. Aside from almost seeing that lady’s lady parts, searching for the owner of a wet and mangy Yorkie who wandered into our camp, fighting off swarms of ants, and the 90-degree temperatures…it was fun. Maybe next time we opt for a pleasant fall or spring camping experience. And we remember to put up the food. And bring plates.

(I apologize for the quality of pictures. I got a cool new waterproof, shockproof, Beckettproof iPhone case, and it makes my pictures sort of terrible.)

Hank and Beckett

I honestly don’t know what’s happening in this picture, but it’s so great. I’d like to think it was taken right after someone said “The lady with no pants stole all of our marshmallows.”

aaaand this is at 6am when this guy thought everyone wanted to get up and play

Update: I’d like to add chigger poison to my list of must-haves for next time. I have lovely red chigger bites covering my entire person. I might also change “camping was semi-successful” to “camping was a total fail”.