Solo Parenting: Third Trimester Style

When you’re married to a CPA, ends of quarters are busy times because of numbers or something. (I don’t really understand.)

Knowing Taylor would be working late every night and over the weekend, I psyched myself up for a fun time by myself with the boys.

We all count down the second until daddy gets home from work. He is the ultimate wrestle machine and backyard baseball coach. Plus he distracts little hands long enough for me to accomplish something productive. (Laundry? Dishes? Toilet cleaning?) We like him.

But with only 6 days of super long hours, the boys and I could TOTALLY DO IT solo, right?

Day 1: make crib sheets for “little little brother”.

One good thing about little boys is they don’t know to hate shopping yet. Suckers.

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So one Hobby Lobby trip later, we had all the goodies we needed to make some things for the nursery. Beckett helped me sew not one, not two, but THREE crib sheets. He thought it was awesome. I found it surprisingly helpful.

We had a fun day with an extended bath time and multiple stories at bedtime.

Daddy, schmaddy.

Day 2: haircuts and park.

We burned some energy playing hard before heading to get haircuts. All went well with both (especially for Alfalfa over here).

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Dinner got to be a little suspect, so I knew the next day needed to include…

Day 3: trip to the grocery store.

This may not seem very fun unless you a) shop at a store with car carts and b) excel in car noises and screeches.

A few steps in I knew our trip would be a struggle because we could only find the gimp cart with one working steering wheel.

My suspicions were confirmed a few aisles later when Hutton “quickhands” Brooks pulled half the stuff off the shelves and bit through the wrapping on a package of bread. (Parking too close to the baked goods was a rookie mistake on my part.)

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The trip spiraled pretty quickly out of control from there, but at least we had a fridge and pantry full of healthy food.

Our dinner that night could have been the header of ChooseMyPlate’s website.

Regardless, we were all starting to miss daddy big time.

Day 4: ???.

Woke up to whiny in my face. Aaaaand we were officially starting to be over each other.

The days started kinda becoming a blur at this point because this:

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Mama’s tired, kids are weird, and I was officially out of things (and energy) to occupy their time.

I think we made a teepee at some point during the day, but when one kid pushed it on top of the other it kinda ruined the effect.

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The silver lining was that Taylor and I got some bonus quality time while the boys were in bed. He came home from work to meet me at the hospital when my OB sent me for a short trip to to be monitored for “heart palpitations”. (Everything is fine.)

Pretty sure you’d have palpitations, too, if you listened to metal pots banging together for 2 hours straight. Just sayin’.

The other silver lining is that I walked in to L&D wearing this shirt.

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(Remember the matching “ask me” shirts at the ER? Wearing awkward clothing in medical emergencies is a talent, really.)

Day 5: I don’t even care.

Woke up to more whiny. Just a general grump about us.

Also, at this point in the week the dishes were mountainous in my sink and I am lazy. So screw the healthy food we just spent $200 on. We were eating something cheap and easy.

We opted for Home Depot hot dogs for lunch…

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…and SpaghettiO’s for dinner.

Except have you SEEN what happens when you give small kids SpaghettiO’s? Ain’t nobody got time to clean that up.

I sent them both outside so I could hose them off. No bath time tonight, please and thank you.

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Day 6: train ride.

Knowing it was the last long day of solo parenting, and it being the 4th of July and all, I opted for an actual fun event rather than a “mommy really wants to do this so I’m going to camouflage it as something fun” event.

We rode the miniature train. Super fun (for 20 minutes).

At this point in the week, I was kinda done chasing the giant toddler so I handed the reigns over to Beckett. He tried his hand at babysitting.

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Depending who you ask, it was either a fantastic break or resulted a slight lack of oxygen.

Day 7: DADDY.

Daddy was home, albeit only for a day, and we relished every second with him.

Being the dear that I am, I let him change every diaper, wrangle the oversized baby, and put the boys to bed.

I’m a giver like that.

And as for you, end-of-quarter Excel 10-key report thinger, you are dead to me.

I’m ready for babe #3 to come out so he can play too…and I can have my bladder/energy/caffeine consumption back.

[Also? I love my husband and have the utmost respect for single parents. That’s all.]

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