Misunderstandings & 7 Big Ones

Gather ’round, everyone. Let me tell you a story.

Actually it’s not a story as much as a reflection on past decisions.

It was a beautiful January day. The sun was peeking out through the winter clou…anyway, I decided to schedule a flight to Kansas that takes off an hour past my kid’s bedtime.

What was the logic behind that? Nothing about that plan is a good idea.

Brainy, the creepy wheezer.

To make things more interesting, Beckett has croup and an ear infection.

Did you ever watch Hey Arnold? He sounds like the mouth-breather who was always creeping over Helga’s shoulder.

Aside from the miles and miles of boogers and snottage free-flowing out of his nose and the occasional “seal bark” and/or wheeze, he’s being a trooper.

Still, I’d like to apologize in advance for anyone else on our flight tonight. It could be traumatic for all involved. 

[As an aside: If you’re thinking to yourself, “Haven’t I heard of croup before…like maybe it affected my Oregon Trail travelers in the popular 90’s computer game?” I thought so too. Turns out it was whooping cough that often plagued my characters. That and dysentery.]

Post-Beckett, I’m constantly watching families in stores, at church, etc. to see how kids act and how parents parent.

It got me thinking about all the misconceptions I had about the world as a child. Misconceptions that came crashing down at various stages of growing up.

Pictures like this didn’t help.

For one, I always thought the world was in black and white and someone invented color. My grandparents would reference some movie and say “It was black and white” which, logically, I assumed to mean, “It was filmed back when the world was in black and white.” I got straightened out sometime in college.

For a while there I thought that when someone’s eyes were closed, they fell asleep instantly. When my parents would say, “Time to go to sleep!” and everyone would close their eyes, I’d think, “I mean, really…how do they fall asleep that fast? It takes me a while. They just shut their eyes and – BAM – fall asleep.”

Up until an embarrassingly short time ago, I truly believed that someone was literally watching me all the time. I always heard, “Be careful what you do. People are always watching.” I took that very seriously.

Looking into the sun? Terrifying. Parents’ warnings make you think you will go blind if you accidentally glance at the sun for 2 seconds.

And don’t even get me started on tornadoes. With all the drills at school, I was under the impression that every house got hit by a tornado at some point or another. I would lay in bed at night terrified that night would be the night my house would get blown away.

So, was I just super … we’ll use the word “gullible”? Surely you had some misunderstandings, too. I know you have a good example from your childhood brewin’ right now.

7 Big Ones

The Beck is 7 months this week.

He’s pulling up, almost crawling, and feeding himself food chunks (could I have made that sound any less appetizing?).

I think it’s time for a little photo overload.

For some reason, I think that smashing Beckett’s face into forced smiles is the funniest thing ever. Luckily so do Pops and JoJo, so they kindly took a screenshot for me. And, yes, he’s still wearing jiapers. We still have one box of diapers to go.

Dude is so happy he smiles when he wakes up. Even when he wakes up with his chunkyboy thighs jammed between the crib slats.

This picture is hilarious to me. Our first (and last for a long, long time) trip to the zoo. Look at that smirk. He’s checking out the chick at 9 o’clock.

And he’s already trying to smoke stuff. His puffs to be exact.

I mean…look at that guy.

As Q captioned it, “Tada!! Prunes!” The result of sneezing with a mouth full of prunes. Sorta looks like a crime scene, huh?

Sometimes I let Beckett play in one of the four ottoman compartments. With a solo cup. Talk about cheap entertainment… If you notice, there are 3 other boxes just begging for kids. I’m considering opening my own daycare. Apply within.