Hyperventilation with a side of Book Proposal

Sweet mercy. So many….so much….too many things not enough ti….{sigh}

This month, you guys.

This month – nay, several months – is full of such good things that are somehow proving to be incredibly stressful.

Buying a house, having a baby, potty training, starting a new job, traveling to speak…all happening within several weeks of each other.

[Side note: my husband is awesome. He is rockin out his new job, killin that Q-10.2b form or whatever he does, getting shoutouts from the CEO…I’m so proud of him. And I love his new company. Working in corporate financing at a theme park has it’s family perks.]

Oh, and also?

I just emailed off a book proposal,

in case you’re wondering if I’ve completely lost my mind.

Yes, a book proposal. As in a proposal to write a book.

Somehow, in all of the crazy of normal life, God has still been working big time with this social media and teens stuff. (Turns out He and I don’t always operate on the same time frame. Weird.) Parents are cuh-raving information. They are overwhelmed, scared, tired, panicky…and, man, I am so honored to carry a message of hope for them.

I love looking them in the eyes and saying, “Hey, girlfriend (or dude). Yes, the interwebs are big and scary, but I can assure you, social media is much more manageable than it first appears. No need to be sweaty.”

I’ve been telling Taylor over the past year that I can feel God preparing me for something, but I don’t know what. He’s been putting people and opportunities in my life the past several months that all, independently from each other, point in the direction of speaker/writer, but…me? Aren’t speakers and writers like…poised? Or professional? Or something?

It takes a while to get a message through my doubt filter.

So. God took my prayer of, “Show me specifically where I can serve you best. Whatever that means.” and EXPLODED IT TIMES 1 BILLION. It’s how he does sometimes when we don’t specify.

The past several months have been a lot of shaky, hesitant baby steps.

One speaking gig here, one blog post there…

…and then a maybe book.

It all started backstage a few weeks ago at our women’s conference. I was a co-host for the event which was equal parts humbling and hilarious and exhausting. The second the conference was over, I was bolting to eat and nap, in that order.

On my way out, I saw the main speaker by herself autographing books, so I stopped for a second to thank her for coming, wish her a safe trip, etc. Polite talk. I really, really, really wanted a sandwich. Pregnancy, you guys. Feed the beast.

Somewhere between thanking her and making small talk, we ended up in this conversation:

Jennie: My father-in-law is the football coach at that high school.
Me: Seriously? I was just there last week. Small world. Anyway, I’m off to grab some grub. Thanks again.
Jennie: Wait – what were you there for?
Me: uhhh….(racking my brain for how to explain as quickly as possible)…I was….uh…doing a thing at a PTA meeting. Annnyyywaaaay, I’m headed ou –
Jennie: Hold on. What thing?
Me: Oh, you know, just a talk. About social media. And teens. ….but that sandwich though, amiright?
Jennie: No, wait. I want to know what you’re talking about. Tell me more.

…and on we went. I almost ate my arm off, but I stayed.

I told her about the post that accidentally went viral. She listened.

Then there was a lot of “So what is your plan now?” and “You have to do something with this message.” and “Having a baby is a lame excuse to do nothing.” and “I never offer things like this, but here’s exactly what you’re going to do….”

And somehow, within 10 minutes, she had convinced me send her a book proposal by the end of October so she could send it to her editor. Mind you, this conversation is taking place on, like, October 11th. Also? Jennie had never read my stuff. Didn’t know me from Eve. And she felt compelled to peer pressure me into writing a proposal for her editor.

I’m telling y’all…it sounds insane to just get to the punchline of “I’m possibly writing a book.” at, you know, 26 weeks pregnant and…being me and all, but…whoa. Pretty sure I was more convinced in that 10 minute conversation with her than I would have been if Gabriel himself came down in his angelic garb and delivered a personalized message.

After hyperventilating a little bit, I told her she was spot on with her call to action. I’d heard it echoed over and over but stiiiillll didn’t quite get the memo until that moment. I told her we were having a seriously holy conversation in that smelly, backstage area.

I agreed to write a proposal on a Saturday and drove to Kansas on a Monday to work on it. (Kansas…that trip I blogged about that was hellacious….yep. It makes the story even funnier when you factor in why I was there in the first place. Barf or no barf, that proposal was getting written, DANGIT.)

Big gulps.

I have absolutely no idea what will happen, if anything, with that proposal. And that’s not really the point. Because I know beyond the shadow of a doubt God called me to take this step. One more faithful baby step. So much less intimidating than knowing the whole course ahead of time.

I think it’s kinda how God does. We focus on the “big plan” but sometimes he just says, “Sweet, over planned, child, let’s just handle one day at time. Mmmmkay?”

Even if the proposal was just to get me to spend time organizing my thoughts and making a game plan for future posts/talks, or just a test of “Will you always say yes?”, or simply a way to get me to Kansas to have help during the vomitpocalypse of 2013, it was a worthwhile exercise. It’s an exercise in toddling with God.

So.

Don’t laugh in my face when I tell you I might be working on a book. I’ve laughed enough for the both of us.

(Also, this. Halloween and all. Peter Pan, y’all.)