Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

A post dedicated to the survival of mom and baby’s trek across America.

Planes

Last week, Beckett and I were shipped to Kansas while Taylor was at a work conference in San Diego. Side note: the hotel he stayed at was listed on a website for top 8 “sexiest hotel bathrooms”. Did I mention it was an accounting conference? I would expect accountants to pick a Thrifty Inn or something. Guess not.

I’m not gonna lie – I was stressing out about this plane ride the entire week leading up to it. What if Beckett screams the whole flight and everyone on the plane keeps glaring daggers at us? What if I have to nurse him while stuck between two large men? What if I get stuck next to that lady who keeps giving me unwanted parenting advice?

We got to the airport at a lovely 5:30 a.m. and Beckett slept in a sling around me for all of the security, boarding, and take off. It was marvelous.

As soon as we were in the air, I started having a panic attack with Beckett strapped to me in his sling while I sat in the smallest seat known to man, jammed up against the airplane window. Did I mention it was at least 104 degrees on the plane?

I started trying to take my sweater off (which was impossible since I was wearing it under a strapped-on baby) and obviously looked very awkward because the man next to me asked if he could help. We started doing an uncomfortable dance trying to get my stupid sweater off, but finally I was free of it. In the moment right after, I got nervous trying to decide how to a) thank him and b) let him know I wouldn’t be that high maintenance the whole flight. Know what I chose to say?

“Thanks so much. I’ve gotta be honest, no stranger has helped me disrobe on a plane before.”

Really? Really. Suffice it to say, it got about 38x more awkward between us.

The only thing more uncomfortable is when I announced to him I had to nurse Beckett by saying, “At the risk of making this awkward, I have to feed him right quick…but you won’t even notice a thing!” Then, when Beckett started choking while eating, I chose to say, “Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to be discreet and the babe starts choking his head off? So nonchalant…hah.. ha….h.”

He didn’t make eye contact with me the remainder of the flight.

It’s a wonder I have a husband and friends who seem to like me.

Automobiles

After staying in Kansas for a few days, Mom, Dad, Beckett, and I drove to Arkansas to meet Taylor and my brother for Thanksgiving with my grandparents.

What normally takes about 6 hours quickly became a 9 hour trip. The best part: it wasn’t Beckett’s fault.

Taylor makes fun of our family for loving cheesy things (no pun intended…you’ll understand in a minute). While most families vacationed in New York City or on a cruise or at Disney World, mine was visiting the historical sites of Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, and the Oregon Trail. We never lived close to either sets of grandparents, so the vacation hours my dad took every year were spent visiting them, and hitting at the historical sites along the way. My parents did a great job of making the road trips fun.

It’s not the historical vacations Taylor makes fun of, it’s all the stupid stops we made on said vacations. A perfect example is the whole goats-in-recliners incident this summer. Another example is the Osceola Cheese place found in Osceola, MO that is always a must-stop on our trips. It’s such a hidden gem full of hundreds of cheese samples and creepy mouse statues. We spent a solid hour there for “Beckett to get out and play”, but really it was so we could sample tons of cheese.

The next stop we made on our trip was to an antique store that my parents have stopped at so many times, they know the owners by name. That’s my family. We literally have never met strangers. Or if we have, we quickly converted them to friends.

Beckett was a little peach the whole trip. It probably helped that I turned his car seat into an interactive jungle experience: