Owls, Blowouts, & Momisms

My baby will be 4 weeks old tomorrow. How does this happen?

This week has been a big one for us. We had our first night out as a family, and I had my first major outing with the babe by myself.

This is us at Niki’s Italian Bistro, a classy establishment by our house. By classy I mean it’s in a strip mall, but it has shockingly good food.

Beckett slept the whole time, waking only for a few minutes to eat from a BOTTLE! Revolutionary.

Momma was reacquainted with her old friend, Mr. Chianti.

Perfect first dinner out.

Owls

We’ve only been out a handful of times, but there is a recurring theme…

While I was pregnant, public bystanders stared at me or commented on how miserable I must be in the heat or told me about their own labor. I figured once I had Beckett they’d do the same – only about the baby. I hear stories all the time (and have witnessed some – I’m looking at you, crazy lady from The Home Place) about strangers coming up and touching their babies or giving parental advice, so I was fully prepared for this to happen with us.

So far, every time we’ve been out and about, ladies of all ages will pass the car seat, do double takes while huge grins spread across their faces, and then turn around to come talk to me. Every time this happens I’m prepared with my standard, “Beckett. 4 weeks on Monday. And thank you – he sure is cute as a button…” response.

As those words are coming out of my mouth, I hear them say, “That is SUCH a cute owl. Where’d you get it?!” instead. After I answer them, they say “Great, thanks!” and walk away. WALK AWAY.

Seriously? Cute owl?! How about the model-perfect child sitting underneath the owl? Don’t care to comment on him? He has feelings, you know.

It’s really hilarious. People are really obsessed with the stroller toys I have on his car seat. Don’t get me wrong – I love them too, especially since they match his bedding set. Still…the owl is not as cute as my baby. Rude.

For all of you who didn’t even finish reading because you were still mesmerized by the owl toy, it’s from buybuy Baby. Are you happy now?

Let me just show you how cute he is in case you’re still undecided…

Another outing we had was to Tara‘s baby shower. She’s having a baby boy in a few weeks. We’re super excited that Grayson and Beckett can be BFF at church. Well, I guess they could elsewhere too.

Beckett was an angel baby at the shower, not even fussing once (I’m still not really sure what happened). He did have a massive poo though, so when I went to change his diaper I noticed he went ahead and pooed on his cute little tie onesie, too.

No worries – every good mom has at least 7 extra outfits for both herself and her baby in the diaper bag, right?

Gulp.

He left the shower naked.

Nothing says “new mom” like sitting through half a baby shower with a baby wrapped only in a blanket, and leaving with his bare body strapped in his car seat. (At least he has a super cute owl attached to it.) Lesson learned.

I’m a mom now. A parent. I have a son.

…a mom…

…as in the person who carries a small assortment of bandaids, Tylenol, extra clothes, Tide pens, juice boxes, Tums, fingernail clippers, Purell, Cheerios, flashlights, tweezers, coupons, roadside flares, spare change, and socks (in case an impromptu bowling game breaks out) with her at all times.

As a new mom (that makes me choke a little), I wonder how my life should change.

Do I have to shop at Coldwater Creek?

Do I have to refer to Beckett’s manhood as a winky-woo or cheetoh?

Do I have to say “tinkle”?

Do I have to buy a mini-van immediately, or is there a grace period?

Do I have to become a crazy coupon lady?

Do I only get brooms and Pyrex as birthday presents now?

Do I have to stop watching everything that doesn’t involve grown men who call themselves “The Wiggles”?

This is serious stuff. Bear with me as I make the transformation – it could take a while.