Poopfetti, Happy Birthd… & Nightmarrers

Go get Beckett’s hair cut. Stylist says, “Hey, sorry about the rubber glove on my hand. I have a skin issue and I’m trying to keep it dry.” as she runs her fingers through B’s hair.

…

“On second thought, ma’am, his mullet is kind of endearing. No haircut for us today, please and thank you.”

Poopfetti

One of my favorite mother/daughter combos is Jamie and Morgan. Besides being generally awesome, both are avid Psych watchers. They’ve converted me to the point where I spend most nap times and any other spare 42 minutes in my day catching an episode on Netflix. Morgan is in school with a flexibleish schedule so I invited her over to watch with me during nap time on Friday. I warned her ahead of time that all we had to watch Netflix on was my iPad, so we cozied on up and started an episode.

The video baby monitor was next to me and I periodically checked it to see that Beckett still hadn’t laid down for his nap. He was walking around in his crib yelling, “MOMMA. MOOOOMMMAAAAA!!” (which is kind of refreshing after the “SARAHHHH” phase we’ve been in.) After an hour of non-napping shenanigans, I told Morgan to hold on a sec while I went to get him.

He immediately started pointing at Owl (his lovie/security blanket/baby crack) on the ground when I opened the door. So, duh. That’s why he wasn’t napping. Owl had escaped from prison the crib.

I bent to pick Owl up and noticed he had chewed up food on him, which was weird because Beckett didn’t go to bed with any food. I stood back up and realized we had a much bigger problem: Beckett was standing on one side of the crib, his diaper was laying on the other side, and it wasn’t food I’d seen….it was poo. Lots of it. I’m not sure how it all went down, but using the detective skills I’ve picked up from Psych, my best guess is he pooped, took off his diaper, picked up the poo, and threw it like confetti.

Over and over and over.

The next several minutes went from “Morgan – hey girl. It’s going to be just a second longer…”

…to Morgan and I bathing Beckett side-by-side

…to her entertaining him while I cleaned up the shrapnel

…to both of us standing in his nursery scanning the floor/walls/crib rails saying things like “Here’s some more, but how in the world did he…”

So, yea. It was nice knowing you Morgan. Our friendship was fun while it lasted. We’ll always have Bruton Gaster.

Also, I’m pretty sure I talk about poo on this blog way more than anything else. I would apologize, but it’s a big part of our lives right now. Plus, poop stories are funny. Or my sense of humor is equivalent to that of an 11 year old boy. Either way, it’s my blog and I’ll talk about poopfetti if I want to.

Speaking of alienating friends at a rapid rate…

Happy Birthd…can we get some more napkins?

Beckett had a terrible, horrible, no good very bad night on Friday. He woke up 3 times in a state of screamy, inconsolable, violence – identical to the night after the seizure/ER trauma. Our doctor is open on Saturday mornings, so instead of spending yet another weekend wondering if we should take him to an urgent care or wait until Monday morning, we got an appointment for the doc to check his ears for infection.

They only had a 10AM appointment, but we had a birthday party for our 3 year old friend at 9 that we really didn’t want to miss. So we tried to do both.

We were able to stay at Jack’s party for about 15 minutes before we loaded back up and went to the doctor.

But of course I can’t just casually stroll in and out of this party. I have to be awkward about it.

13 out of the 15 minutes at the party were spent spilling and cleaning up an entire cup of coffee that I spilled all over the kids’ table. Because what better way to say “happy birthday” than to spill scalding hot liquid within reaching distance of small children.

Walk in > spill coffee > walk out.

It’s how we do.

Brooks family is available most weekends in 2013 if you’d like to invite us to your gatherings. Just make sure you have plenty of wet towels around.

Nightmarrers.

Remember the whole “I don’t want to be the mom who takes my kid to the doctor for an sore thumbnail” vs. “I hesitantly took him to an urgent care and he seized in the waiting room.” conundrum?

We fell on the beginning half of that on Saturday.

I would feel stupid, but I warned the doctor ahead of time that there was a 75% chance he was totally fine. As crazy as this past month has been, I was ok chancing that.

Sure enough, he was fine. No ear infections.

But the doc did ask us more about his screamy bouts of violence. He asked us several questions and finally told us that he has been having night terrors.

Have your kids had these? They’re crazy.

I would have sworn on my life that either he was demon possessed or his appendix had burst.

 

Night terrors are different than nightmares. Unlike nightmares, the child usually doesn’t remember a night terror. During one of these suckers, the child “acts out” what they’re seeing (so obviously some sort of Jackie Chan or Rocky movie in Beckett’s case, judging by the amount of karate chops and punches to my face) and it can last up to an hour. The doc said basically just leave him be and he’ll eventually go back to sleep.

They’re pretty scary to witness, but completely harmless. (Heeeey that sounds familiar. Oh yea. Febrile seizures.)

I felt a little ridiculous taking him to the doctor and that being the only thing going on, but it was lots of good information. Plus, we now know that he had a night terror after the ER. His brain hadn’t shorted out like I’d originally thought. That’s a relief, right?

In conclusion, I’d like to request a list of all the weird crap that can happen to kids. I’d like to be a little more informed ahead of time. Please and thank you.