sarah brooks

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    So Many Feels, So Little Words

    July 1, 2014 / 5 Comments

    Every time I sit down to blog, I am at a loss. I have a lot of feels these days and can’t land on one to talk about. I have the happy feels because Beckett is stinkin hilarious these days, like tonight when he waited for upwards of 5 minutes inside a closed box on the front porch for the mailman to “ship him somewhere”. And happy feels that I have a 5 month old linebacker punkin who is made of steel and gummy smiles. And that this handsome fella is our gentle, sneaky-funny main man. Lots of joy. But I also have a serious case of the exhausted feels.…

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    Sarah Brooks Sarah Brooks

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professional extrovert, raiser of gentlemen,  inconsistent blogger

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At the risk of this becoming an ESPN72 account, my At the risk of this becoming an ESPN72 account, my 89.75 year old Papa came down from Arkansas to watch his great grandsons play some baseball this weekend. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 2 days, 10 games, 3 championships, and 4 rings later, I think he got his fill. In fact, with each Brooks bro making it to the championships (and Beck being awarded MVP of his tournament, a thing I didn’t know existed?! 🥹😱), I think Papa now permanently resides in Texas as our good luck charm. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We have hit the friend, family, team, and kid jackpots. All the jackpots. Giant jackpot of awesome and we’re dang grateful for these days. ⚾️💙
I’m already 33% of the way through parenting at I’m already 33% of the way through parenting at a height advantage. 🥴 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Grateful for the good, bad, stinky, awkward, beautiful, gritty that each new season brings. These are the days. 💙💙💙
Sometimes we pray together, sometimes I yell shut Sometimes we pray together, sometimes I yell shut up at them. It’s all about having a healthy balance ya know.
TB gave up 2 separate offers this week. Two legit TB gave up 2 separate offers this week. Two legit ridiculously cool sports situations during which he’d get to hang with some professional players my boys nearly pass out just seeing on tv. Easily gave those opportunities on up, just so he could be present for some 10U baseball tryouts. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ His reason when Beckett and I heard the details and asked if he was feeling well bc 👀🤨😳: “I don’t really want to be there. I just want to be home with my family.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My ghost is posting this bc I melted and perished instantly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Beckett replied that, in the future, he would feel much more loved if Taylor would say yes to such opportunities. 🤣 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But look at that last picture, man. Sittin a Jimmy John’s instead of a suite, getting to tell his son that he made the team. He traded a fun moment for a lifelong memory with his boy. Hutton felt like an absolute king. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A quiet revolution, an understated force. That’s our hero. The world is a better place with him in it.
always gotta be that guy 🤍 always gotta be that guy 🤍
Growing up, I remember my best friend’s grandpar Growing up, I remember my best friend’s grandparents being at EVERYTHING. Every event, every recital, every game…it was so very foreign to me because my extended family always lived out of state. (Which has its own perks - like week long time spent together!) I just had no context for her experience, other than to also claim her grandparents as my own. (Hiii, Mamaw Pat!! 👋🏻😘) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But let me tell you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Our boys get it. They hit the jackpot. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The Brooks bros, at any given moment, have upwards of 14 fans in the stands during their baseball games. Grandparents, uncles, friends, bonus older sisters.…all there to cheer on their sometimes exciting, mostly subpar, chosen athletics. It takes up so much time, and yet here they sit. Rain, cold, sweltering Texas summers… ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s just the best and our thankfulness deserves its own square. ❤️⚾️🧢
At the end of every semester of support groups, I At the end of every semester of support groups, I ask, “did this work?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Always resounding yeses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “It helped me see other perspectives.” “I realized I am not alone.” “I learned how to speak up. My voice matters.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s not the curriculum. It’s certainly not me. I believe it’s the truth that we were built for community. And when we create safe places where we look each other in the eyes and show up willing to learn and grow and listen and be heard - the flourishing is tangible. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Seeing the progression from week 1 to week 8 - watching strangers enter and leave as friends - is the best seat it in the house. Real real REAL glad for these teens that are so easy to cheer on, that I learn so much from. Extra glad for my graduate-turned-co-facilitator for two semesters running. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s Tater Tot 👉🏻 Tionda 👉🏻 chicken wings 👉🏻 homemade sack lunches 👉🏻 Sarah in order of favorites and I am HERE FOR IT. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Keep choosing brave, @teenlife_ngo friends. Be wise about the voices you let in. Be kind in the way you use yours. We are proud of you, always! 🎉 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What’s YOUR best life advice? Drop some 🔥 wisdom below for our past and present group besties:
*obligatory Easter family photo in which my firstb *obligatory Easter family photo in which my firstborn is wearing all clothing from the men’s department* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ahem. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “The door that led to death has been remade by Christ into the door that opens into everlasting life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ All sorrows we endure for now are but the rattling gasp that signals death’s defeat. Christ’s heel is planted on death’s neck. Death cannot breathe. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The victory is won. So death will be undone. All works of death will be undone.” - @everymomentholy ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you want to know the root of why this quirky bunch smiles so much, loves so big, and hopes so hard, come on over. Boy do I have a story for you. ♥️✝️
Big emotions, small frame. Also, fear. So much fea Big emotions, small frame. Also, fear. So much fear. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ He’s been asking God to take it all away - to keep him from instant anger, to quell his fears. We found him in a flood of tears one night. “You talk about hearing God all the time, mom. Well I’ve been asking him to show up, AND HE DOESN’T! He doesn’t listen to me!!” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I joined his tears. “It’s so hard, isn’t it? I’m with you.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Then his dad, our hero. Clears his throat. “It’s hard to believe God listens, but he says he does and his promises are always true. So we have to be brave and trust it even if we can’t feel it. I also believe he is answering your prayers - and maybe not by taking AWAY your fear yet, but by giving you this home and parents who will sit with you in it so you can work THROUGH it while the risk is low and you feel safe.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ More tears. Maybe a lil snot. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That night has led to every night after. For about 2 months now, this warrior asks Taylor and I to come battle in prayer with him. I tried to be silly one night, but he stopped me: “No, I don’t want those little prayers. I want the ones where you cry sometimes because it means so much.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Started battling with one boy, then another, caught on to the last. From bedroom to bedroom, a traveling revival in our upstairs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Nothing we could fabricate on our own. Definitely not an idea that would have gone over well if we’d tried. And yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ God hears. Every last whisper. He turns ordinary holy all the time. Rarely where we expect, never in ways we could dream up. Kingdom seeds sprouting all over the landscape - in them, in us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Don’t lose hope, friends. His goodness and hope and new life is all around. Keep your faces turned towards his. He’s got us.
We have conversations weekly, my boy and I. He is We have conversations weekly, my boy and I. He is terrified of school shootings. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What an awful weight for his little frame to carry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What an awful weight for a parent’s heart to carry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My stomach was in knots this morning, dropping three parts of my heart off at a school that looks a heckuva lot like the one from yesterday. As I said goodbye to my own 9 year old. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Before they left the car I asked, more for myself than them: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hey, remind me…what’s our job on earth? “We love God and we love others.” And we laugh? “Yeah we have lots of fun.” And when do we do this? “Right now, Mom. 2023. This is our time.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It didn’t take away my grief for these families, it didn’t take away my anger - the fire to fight for change for our children, but it did anchor me. Helped me breathe a little easier. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Darkness doesn’t win. Today, we choose hope. Today, we choose love. 🤍
I’m speaking tomorrow, going over my lesson and I’m speaking tomorrow, going over my lesson and a story I plan on telling about when my eldest was 18 months old. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Um. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Can someone please explain to me how that is now ONE DECADE AGO. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And then please explain to me how this 11.5 year old - who I swear was born last Wednesday - is officially taller than me. And why his voice is deep. Soundin like a grown man callin me mom. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Time is mean. And yet somehow just keeps getting better?! I mean, look at this thing!!! From a wee meatloaf to a dreamy preteen that I can rest my head amongst…😍🥹 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Hold me.
In an effort to be both creative and cost effectiv In an effort to be both creative and cost effective a few years ago, I instituted Brown Bag Day as one of our weekly @teenlife_ngo group lunch menus. While we all love a good McDonalds burger or Chicken E spicy tender, I thought a hand packed lunchable lunch - field trip style - would be fun. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wildly underestimated how much my students would love it (Texas sized smiles) AND how much my kids would want to be involved in the process. My boys threw down their basketballs yesterday when they saw my Aldi order and invited our neighbor friends in to help. “Brown Bag Day is the best! We help pack lunches and write notes for mom’s friends. Come help us!” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 5 boys writing notes they’d want to receive. 15 teens receiving encouragement they weren’t expecting. (32 extra notes at home because the boy squad just didn’t stop writing. 😂) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kindness and empathy, man. Simple decisions with contagious results. S’good. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That’s all. Just a lil hope shot for your Tuesday viewing pleasure. 🤍💉
That time COVID brought us the literal best friend That time COVID brought us the literal best friends and neighbors we never even thought to ask for. Sorry, Cali, for losing all your quality people to Texas, but I will never stop thanking God for his girl @jshinar333. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To know her is to love and be loved by her. She’s always down for shenanigans, always showing up, always ready for some true crime sleuthing, always attending events with me I haven’t given her any prior knowledge or details about, always prepared to help…she is a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ human. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY! It’s also almost 3 years of living and laughing and raising (/feeding) our baseball team together. We, your fan club, could not be more grateful for the gift that is you. 🤍🎁
San Antonio: where the food was great, the weather San Antonio: where the food was great, the weather was patio perf, and the lack of Texas history in this Tennessean was apparent. #didtheywinorrrr ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 5/5 recommend adventuring as a family. Start when they’re small. Take the long way, learn to look out the window instead of down at a screen. Eat the good food, not just the kid-friendly. It pays off in the best ways and greatest* memories. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *mostly great…. sometimes absurd (like traveling with the puppy you adopted 6 days earlier or like realizing halfway through the weekend you somehow contracted COVID for the fourth time)…. always memorable. 🦗🤍🧳🐶
I mean, we all knew we’d be the world’s worst I mean, we all knew we’d be the world’s worst fosterers……I guess I just thought we’d be able to hold out longer than 4 days. But then I watched my boys tenderly hold her face and say “Hi babbyyyyyy” in a tone they’ve never in their lives used soooooo ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Welcome (officially) to the zoo, Poppy Popcorn Poppyseed Popperton Brooks. Sincerely, everyone but Milo
Ohhh, just some gorgeous photos of us and our grow Ohhh, just some gorgeous photos of us and our grown adult children. This is now an account about AARP and grandparenting. 😭💙⏳
“Wait, what are we doing again?” - saint taylo “Wait, what are we doing again?” - saint taylor who could oft ask more questions than he does ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Going to QT to get furniture from someone who messaged me on Instagram. I don’t actually know them. It’s fine, everything is fine.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It was fine. Because of course one family randomly offered a whole set nursery furniture, and of course a whole other family randomly expressed a need for some, all in the same week. If dressers could talk…so many stories these pieces have lived. 😍 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Weekly reminder that goodness is all around. Just gotta be on the lookout! 🤍
It came as exactly zero surprise to my family that It came as exactly zero surprise to my family that when I realized how close our friends’ new digs were to a GEM of a Fort Worth bookstore, I asked my boys to gather the neighborhood kids we’d just met and invite them on a walk to it. (After checking with their adults, that is.) They must know it exists!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📚Today a reader, tomorrow a leader! The world is yours for the reading! Books are portable magic! 📚 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am nothing if not literacy’s greatest hype girl. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I saw our new friends’ eyes light up at an entire store full of books with characters that looked like them, I blurted out that I was *pretty* sure first time visitors got to pick one new book to take home and share. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I lied. 🫣 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ …and then this precious lady doubled down on my lie by coming up and quietly slipping cash into my hand. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You buy those babies books,” she said. “You buy them their books.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Turns out every kid got a book. And people are awesome. 🥹📖🫶🏼
Our middle done turned 9. To know Hutton is to lov Our middle done turned 9. To know Hutton is to love him. He’s easily one of the most interesting people I know. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We had a whole conversation the other day about our superpowers. “What do you think your gifts are, Mom? The ones God put in you?” We talked about it for a minute. “Can you see any of mine yet?” he asked. (Again, kid is deep.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Goodness gracious,” I said. “How much time we got??” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This boy is endlessly curious, a foodie beyond his years, always up for a challenge. He’s also wildly compassionate and deeply observant of people and beauty that others walk right past. He lives in full color (ranging from neon to *sigh* a “gray day”); has big feelings that help him notice others’. He sees extraordinary in the ordinary and helps teach the rest of us to slow down ( s l o w d o w n ) and do the same. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ((Sheesh…that’s quite a hype. Sure hope 9 year old Hutt is as cool as the past 8 versions have been. 😏)) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Don’t you ever forget, Hutton Smith, how awesome you are! We love you, like you, and are stupidly, insanely proud of you. 🤍🤟🏼
~30 full hours in a city I really, really love. A ~30 full hours in a city I really, really love. A city that, in large part, built me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Me + the jeans I packed that I forgot like to randomly come unbuttoned hung out with 300 of my new best friends. They wrote me notes, welcomed with me THE best / most thoughtful gift basket, complimented by kicks... pretty sure I got way more out of the deal than they did but NO TAKEBACKS. 🥰 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It did my heart so good to have a physical presence in my soul city this weekend, of all weekends. I ate at the best restaurant in America (Chinese Sub Shop), I went on a long, prayerful, tearful run through Shelby Farms. I thanked God for all the 901 has taught me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Memphis is a very broken city, but Memphis is also a very resilient city. It keeps getting back up, keeps proving people wrong. The last photo so beautifully captures the city we are proud of. Tyre Nichols took that. He should be here to see how his art has taken off, to see how much joy his skateboarding videos have brought. We honor his life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I want my girls from Saturday to remember: when things get too big, too dark, too anxious, we shift our focus from unknown to known. We are freedom walkers and truth tellers and hope dealers and we were put here, now, to show evidence of a better way. Keep choosing the truest, fullest, free…est life! 🤍🎒📓
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