Tears, Mohawks, & Sinners
April 18, 2009
Well, as it turns out, nothing funny happened at work. I actually just ended up crying a lot. Are you one of those people who waits forever, bottles everything, and ends up bawling for hours? Yea…me either… yikes. Life is frustrating to me. Why am I given certain qualities and standards when no one else is? I guess sometimes it turns out good but right now I’m frustrated. For some reason I wasn’t athletically-inclined. I’m not talented in an arena where I can participate with other people. One of my talents instead is efficiency. Are you kidding me? “I can’t go play volleyball with you, but I can enter data into the computer 5x faster than anyone else.” Awesome. I think I hit the wall yesterday. I love my job and I love interacting with people but I’m tired of wanting more and striving for more when others are content being less than mediocre. I’m a “doer” as Jennifer pointed out…it just makes me annoyed that no one else is. Or so I feel currently. Rar. If I’m already frustrated and I haven’t even gotten a real job, how is life going to work out for me? It’s like I’m staring the most daunting task in the face and I just can’t find motivation to keep working hard and to keep pushing for excellence. I know there’s a purpose for me to be wired this way but man is it hard to live with.
So Taylor has a mohawk. I don’t really want to talk about it because I don’t want to state publicly that we are “those kind” of people. Really though, his friends convinced him last night that he needed one for Riatta Fest 2009. Sound cool? That’s because it is. Tonight, ladies and gents, is the final Riatta Fest for all of our friends. Most of the people driving to Abilene are our dear friends that started strong at ACU and somewhere along the way ended up elsewhere. Almost all (Steve Chan can’t come because he is in the Korean army. They don’t allow off for Riatta Fest) of our core group of friends from the past 4 years will be here tonight for our final hoo-rah. 3 boys live in Riatta Ranch, hence the name, so it’ll be a tight squeeze but I’m pretty excited. Cajun cones, hamburgers, friends..that’s good stuff.
In International Business the other day, Winegeart was talking about how he thinks the end of the world is coming in our lifetime. He talked about how our generation does not know the Bible and believes that truth is relative. Touche, salesman. However…one thing our generation does right compared to others is realized that slamming Bibles over people’s heads maybe isn’t the best way to reach them. Yes, I concur, we can’t name all of Nebuchadnezzer’s brothers, sister-in-laws, friends, and cows, but we do have a better grasp of what showing Christ to others is about and what it means to “take care of widows and orphans” as we were called to do. Social service has been a huge movement we’ve been involved in. True we need the backing of the Word but false our generation is not completely going to the pooper.
I was reading Exodus the other week and things were going well with Moses. Then all of the sudden it says something about how God was about to kill him. Wait, what? Back up…read again….yep sure enough he came millimeters away from losing his life. Thanks to his wife for saving him. It made me wonder if God still does that. The moral is: don’t run red lights or do anything risky otherwise your spouse will have to save your back. Just kidding. But seriously what in the world. Look it up: Exodus 4:24-26. Kind of a gross ending but notice how random that is. If we are going to know the Word…why can’t it at least flow a little better?
I’m off to the Fest. Get excited.
April 16, 2009
I have learned throughout the years that if I will actually write my thoughts out, mom (or now Taylor) won’t have to say “Mommy’s ears are tired” but I still process information. So here we go – we’re giving this a try.
So I am now 103 days, 2472 hours, or 148320 minutes into married life. There are so many things that no one tells you before you get married. I don’t know if it is a conspiracy, a big “April Fool’s” or what. Everyone decides to keep details to themselves and let you be surprised on your own. Marriage, really though, is incredible. One thing no one tells you is that it is awesome to just sit around with your best friend. You get tons of advice but I can boil it all down: if you aren’t marrying your best friend…think again. Taylor and I are having a blast just being. We even planted a garden…but that’s a blog for another time.
It’s 3 weeks out from graduation and I still don’t know what I’m going to do. The sad part is that I don’t really care. I still firmly believe that if I trust in God, he’ll lead the way. I’m trying not to let that be my excuse for not looking, but I am standing by it if I just don’t feel right about an offer or an opportunity. I think if I wouldn’t have gotten married in January I would be caught up in a mix of emotions about leaving ACU. I love it dearly and I just don’t know if I’m confident yet in my knowledge to go out into the big, bad world. One good thing is that I have a broader prospective than most since I have spent the semester with just my husband and me. I know life will go on…so really I am in a good transitional period.
I just remembered the problem with blogging: rambling. I feel sure that I will have plenty to blog about that is funny, simply from stupid things people do in Campus Visits. I also want to use this as a venting station for marketing and how I just don’t know if I get it. That’s for later. I’m hanging up for now. We’re hungry.