• Christmas,  fail,  parenting,  toddler life

    Broccoli Butt & Advent

    Broccoli Butt Every time I pick Beckett up from the nursery at church, I overhear the ladies saying to other moms, “She ate some of the sauteed carrots and most of the kale.” or “He ate all of the zucchini and quinoa!” as I grab my son and his diaper bag that never contain the words “kale” or “zucchini”. His snacks are usually made by a friend of mine, General Mills. I was feeling some peer pressure, so last week I sent that dude with some steamed broccoli and cantaloupe. Talk about mom of the year, y’all. That is nutritious as it gets. The only problem is steamed broccoli smells…

  • costumes,  toddler life

    The Peanut Gallery

    I don’t want to oversell it, but I’m pretty sure I found a way to survive toddlerhood that doesn’t involve momtinis at 10am. For those of you precious souls who have conveniently forgotten what it’s like in the trenches and are saying to yourself (or planning to comment on here), “Treasure every moment.” or “They’re just developing their little personalities!”…let’s take a trip down memory lane to some moments that exhausted toddler moms have a hard time treasuring. Noodle Limbs. Do you know the 2 most humiliating places to be?1. Holding a leash with a pooping dog attached.2. Holding the hand of toddler in public whose limbs have mysteriously* all…

  • Halloween,  toddler life

    Playground Survival & Dinosaur Patchin’

    Meanwhile, back in Toddlerland… A hairbrush and a contact case took a swimsy in the toilet.   Dirt was consumed from the bottom of shoes. Fall decor was enhanced. Playground Survival I’ve been excited for B to walk so we could do outdoor activities. It gets a little cabin feverish up in here. Now that he’s been walking for 3ish months, he’s getting around pretty well and loves to climb, so recently it was time to introduce the playground. Yay! Wahoo!! So fun!!! Oh, except no one informed me that playgrounds were death traps that teach survival of the fittest from an early age, so our first 3 attempts were…

  • birthday,  teen mom,  toddler life

    My 14th birthday, Crustaches, & Cannibalism

    Everyone in our family has a birthday in August. Taylor’s is the 7th, mine is the 9th, and Beckett’s is the 22nd. Also, when we were adopting our dog, Mack, they told us his birthday is the 5th. 5, 7, 9, 22. August is an expensive month for us. Last year I made a birthday hat that I made everyone in our family wear on their designated day of birth. I even took it to the hospital to put on the freshly delivered Beckett: “Before you cut the cord…can you just snap a pic of this on his head real fast? Thanks.”  I did it again this year because it’s…

  • Beckett,  gross,  toddler life

    Geckos, Fireworks, & Toddlerhood

    I’m very grateful today. My accidental BFF Tara was in a nasty car accident and is doing AWESOME (and has a pretty killer shiner), my brother is about to close on a house near us, Beckett finally met Knox… we’re blessed. Geckos Something happened a few weeks ago that I haven’t been able to talk about until now – a trauma of sorts. Unless my mom is coming to visit, our bathroom rugs don’t get washed very often. It’s really easy to forget about them when your husband is going, “Hey babe…I just used the last clean undershirt. The ones from the dryer. They actually never even made it to…