My 14th birthday, Crustaches, & Cannibalism

Everyone in our family has a birthday in August. Taylor’s is the 7th, mine is the 9th, and Beckett’s is the 22nd. Also, when we were adopting our dog, Mack, they told us his birthday is the 5th. 5, 7, 9, 22.

August is an expensive month for us.

Last year I made a birthday hat that I made everyone in our family wear on their designated day of birth.

I even took it to the hospital to put on the freshly delivered Beckett: “Before you cut the cord…can you just snap a pic of this on his head real fast? Thanks.” 

I did it again this year because it’s highly entertaining to me for some reason, especially since Mack was terrified of the balloons.

Now the hat is sitting in the corner anxiously awaiting next Wednesday when Beckett can wear it. (Next Wednesday, the 22nd. The day of Beckett’s birth. I could hyperventilate just thinking about how fast this year has gone.)

my new kicks. .

For my birthday, Taylor gave me new running shoes and a verbal commitment to run a half marathon with me this year, something I’ve been pestering him to do since the half I ran 2 years ago…you know, the one on August 15th in Texas where dozens of people were carted off by ambulances because of the ridiculous temperatures. I never claimed to be a genius.

Anyway, I love the shoes. I read somewhere that neon makes you run faster, like a gazelle, so clearly that’s what I chose.

Speaking of getting older…

A man walked up to my friends and I (all 20-something college graduates/young professionals) at church last week and said, “Hey – you girls look about the right age! This is my daughter. She’s 14. Going into 9th grade…”

Hold up. 

14? 9th grade?

Sweet girl needed to know where the youth group was meeting and he thought for sure we were headed that way. You know, to attend our high school Bible class.

So, happy birthday to me. I hope 14 is a solid year for me! Maybe I can get my braces off before school starts.


The crustache happened this week, mostly because I have awesome friends who surprise me with awesome presents.

So, thanks Sydney. From this day forward, our family will never eat sandwiches, pancakes, or cookies the same. I’m even considering mustached salad leaves, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.


In a post in the near future, I’m going to discuss the joys of early toddlerhood…the fact that your baby’s sweet vocal chords begin to hit notes higher than you imagined were humanly possible, the ways in which they noodle leg and/or dive headfirst out of your arms so they can walk unassisted at somewhere around 1 mile-per-decade pace, the sudden shift in strangers’ attitudes toward your precious peach…it’s all fun and games when they’re itty bitty and their fussing is barely audible. It’s not quite as endearing when their shrieking causes internal bleeding.

{Totally unrelated: does anyone know the return/exchange policy of labor & delivery?}

For now, I’ll leave you with this nugget: Crowded shopping mall. Mom drank too much Diet Coke at lunch. Can’t find the bathroom. Baby is walking, laughing and shrieking with delight in himself. 15 minutes later…only a foot from where we started. Mom picks up baby to speed up the process. Baby flips out, sinks teeth into Mom’s arm. (…Mom pops baby on the mouth then looks around to make sure a bystander didn’t dial the Child Protective Services hotline…)

If there was ever any doubt that his teeth were properly installed, I think the hole in my arm lays that question to rest.

When I thought of all the things parenting entailed, I didn’t expect “suffer physical pain” to be on the list. Nor did I expect such a rabid, cannibalistic, precious, angel-faced child.

Welcome to toddlerhood. It’s going to be a crazy, possibly bloody, definitely painful, totally worthwhile ride.  (…right?!)

3 thoughts on “My 14th birthday, Crustaches, & Cannibalism

  1. Amy Heldt

    Oh, Sarah, I love your blog! You are an awesome mom and writer!

    Enjoy being mistaken for a high school student. I still have people ask me if my mom is home when I answer the phone sometimes-Ha!

    Toddlerhood is a different experience but full of funny antics that you may not laugh about at the time but later are hilarious. I kept a book in the kitchen to write the funny things they did down. Now, the kids love to read it and laugh at it. Hang in there!


    Looks like I was also reading in the current time zone as well. (This comment needs my other comment from your 10/19/11 post to make sense.)

    Your writing is quite entertaining, although, I must say I was worried that you were 14 and I was examining your header photos . . wondering . . . I mean, I did have a friend when I was in my late teens who was 13 when married and 14 when she had her first baby. But I was wondering. I remember being told I looked 13 when I was 18.

    I was kind of approaching the cannibalism thing quite carefully too… for a moment I wasn’t sure where it would go. But, it ended quite nicely with that last photo and those struck-out words being replaced.

    All in all very well written – great blog/post. Now, I need to see what else I had been reading before I took to commenting.

  3. Wendy

    Oh Sarah! The ride is always wild and ever changing! Just hang on good and tight because it is one ride that defines your life for many, many years and you will be glad for every second of it!


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